judi free!

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the rest of my life. Maybe it’s because I have a daughter, maybe I’m getting older, or maybe I’m becoming more mature.

However, I think this type of forward thinking is beneficial. My knees hurt because I’m out of shape at the age of 25 – so I think, “how will they feel at 40?” I struggle with my weight after just one child – how will I manage with two or three? We live paycheck to paycheck, and I wonder will we ever have a real savings account.

This type of thinking makes me want to change my life. Make it better now so my daughter can have the very best of me.

How do you feel when you think about the future?

Do you ever notice that every magazine, every commercial, and every piece of mail has the claim for free giveaways. In all my life, I’ve never registered to win, and I’ve never heard of someone in my life who’s won something.

SO – I’m conducting an experiment. I will register to win for every opportunity I see to win a prize for a YEAR. It’s going to take a lot of time and dedication – but gosh darn it…I’M GOING TO WIN SOME STUFF!!!!

Since being a mommy, my whole Internet experience has changed. Here are some of the google terms I’ve used in the past 6 weeks:

Green poop
Mucous thick spit up
Eye goop
How much should a newborn sleep
How much should a newborn eat
Newborn bath
Hip newborn clothes
Gassy newborn

Ahhhh…motherhood!

The past couple of months have been so fun, busy and new. My interests are changing everyday – I’m literally evolving into a new creature – A MOMMY…

This transformation is bringing a new “denial of self” that the new testament talks about so often. No longer am I making decisions based on my selfish desires (well…sometimes I do), but now, each decision is made in light of the tiny life inside of me. What to eat, when to sleep, what to spend (or not spend) money on…

If I can change my behaviors and lay down my own desires for this child I don’t even really know yet, how much more should I abandon my fleshly desires in light of the SAVIOR OF THE UNIVERSE that lives inside of me?

I wonder what else this little child will teach me about my savior, my salvation, and my calling.

Mark and I share an incredible ministry together. Every Wednesday night, we lead a young generation to the throne room where we join in with the angels and worship our everlasting God. It is incredibly satisfying, challenging and overwhelming all at once.

However, what Mark and I do on Wednesday nights is just a small part of what Mark does at the church. You see, Mark works at our church…and I don’t. He gets to plan, write music, and cast vision all day long while I’m sitting in my 6′x8′ cubicle blogging, preparing reports, and writing emails.

I’m still trying to find where I fit into the whole ministry since I don’t actually work there. And the hard truth that I am coming to terms with is – I don’t fit in all of it.

There is a portion of the ministry that Mark and I do together and there is a portion that Mark will do with other people. I am learning to share the load and share my husband with a team…but it’s proving to be quite a hard lesson for me.

Ever since I got the iPhone, I take pictures of myself every day. E-V-E-R-Y-D-A-Y!!!! I told my friends this and they laughed their heads off…especially when they saw the pictures. I’m a dweeb that likes to check her makeup and take funny pictures.

For your enjoyment:

I just woke up

With my helmet cam (a whole other story)

Yes, I'm driving. Yes, I have a weird 1/2 open eye.

I have 100 that look just like this.

There’s a piece of me that wants to be the baby of the family forever. I’m the youngest of 4 in my family and I was the youngest cousin on both sides of my very large family. I’m not expected to make anything at holiday gatherings, I get presents on my sibling’s birthdays, everyone tries to protect my feelings, and my big brothers threaten to beat up anyone that messes with me. I love it.

This is weird though, because I really want to have a baby of my own.

Can I have both? Babies having babies doesn’t sound like a good thing to me…Maybe it’s just time to be a big girl.

As Josh would say, “Grow Up!”

Since Mark and I work with youth a lot, we are quickly understanding how CRITICAL it is for young people to:

• Know the power of God
• Recognize the spiritual warfare taking place over their lives
• Learn to use the authority they have in Christ Jesus

I guess this isn’t just an issue with youth…it’s a problem in all of us. The spiritual realm is often mocked and laughed at nowadays – we are so focused on “living a good life” that we completely ignore the true spiritual battle happening.

It was common in my home to say the name of JESUS when you are scared and say “God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of POWER, LOVE, and a SOUND MIND”. It was also common in my home to recognize when something was demonic. We did not call spiritual disturbances “ghosts” we called them demons. It was a real thing to me and so was the power of Jesus. Even as a child I experienced demons fleeing by just saying the name of Jesus. Are kids still learning that in Christian homes?

People – WE HAVE THE VICTORY…even over DEATH! Depression, sickness, demonic opression MUST flee in the name of Jesus. We have the power…He gave it to us! We don’t have to live defeated any longer. All over the world, people are being raised from the dead, healed from diseases and using the authority Jesus handed to them. Why can’t we!?!?!?

Luke 9:1-2

1 And he called the twelve together and gave them power and authority over all demons and to cure diseases, 2 and he sent them out to preach the kingdom of God and to heal.

The older we get, the more we learn that bad things happen to good, Godly people. We don’t always get what we deserve. And we aren’t entitled to anything.

I feel like I grew up this week. I saw some really great people with families lose their jobs. Some I knew were faithful Christian people and some who have been faithful to this company for many, many years.

I do not believe my faith would have been shaken if I had lost my job. In fact, it would have challenged me to dig deeper, live in faith and give my whole world over to God. I can still do those things, but I’m much better under pressure.

Can we perfect our faith if everything always goes our way?

My company announced today that our CEO resigned and that they will be laying off 20 – 25% of staff. The layoffs will take place next week.

I have some options here on how I will react…

fearful, paniced, gossiping, angry, frustrated

OR

full of faith, love, peace, joy, patience, self control, kindness etc…

Even if I lose my job next week, I know who my provider is. I am the head and not the tail. Above and not beneath. I am a child of God. I have the mind of Christ. I have Godly favor…there, I said it!

TODAY IS STILL THE DAY THE LORD HAS MADE;
I WILL REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT!

I know that I was born to have a crazy kind of faith. To believe for the impossible. To trust the unseen.

However, there can be a fine line between faith and superstition. I didn’t really think about this until I was talking to Kate about my desire to increase my faith.

Superstition is based off of fear.
Faith is based off of a relationship.

• Superstition: Going to church because you fear something bad will happen if you don’t
• Faith: Going to church because you want to commune with the body of Christ and hear the Word
• Superstition: Praying for God to fix your situation – to bring luck to you – to bail you out of a jam
• Faith: Declaring God’s promises for you which include perfect health, perfect joy, love, and peace that surpasses all understanding
• Superstition: Accepting salvation because you are afraid to go to hell
• Faith: Trusting that Jesus died for you because he loves you and you can now live in the fullness of his love and grace.

In just allowing myself to know and recognize the difference between faith and superstition…my faith is increased.

Totally random…I was just writing a very serious blog post and “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred came up on my iTunes Shuffle…why do I even own this song!?!?!!  I’m so embarrassed.

I totally lost my will and concentration to finish writing my serious blog post and decided to ask this very important question:

What song is on your iTunes that you are embarrassed of?

Oh my goodness…”Another Night” by The Real McCoy just came on my shuffle. What is happening in my life right now!?!

I have been told that my blog is GIRLY. I LOVE THAT!!!

So I share with you my secret passion: I love to do hair and make up!

Specifically – hair and make up for weddings! It can be very stressful, as a wedding is the ultimate dress up day for a woman, but it is so fabulously fun when everything turns out right. Here is my beatiful friend, Deanna, on her wedding day with her bridesmaids. I did Deanna’s makeup and her bridesmaid’s hair - aren’t they lovely?

Ladies, if you need your hair or makeup done for a special occasion (prom, homecoming, blind date, wedding). Just give me a shout – it’s my favorite thing to do!  I am doing hair for a bridal party on Saturday morning and I’m so STINKIN EXCITED!

I announced last night that we will be having an
ALL GIRLS CATALYST SLEEPOVER
at my house tomorrow night right after the Re:zound concert (pray for me!):

I have had some really amazing birthday presents – like when Tiff got me tickets to see So You Think You Can Dance. This year, I got a present that really blew me away. It took so much time, effort and love to create.

Kate and Dustin painted a picture. Just for me. It really reflects me. It really looks like something I would pick out in a store. It is now hanging over my fireplace.

I’m realizing that I cherish hand made gifts from the heart…I feel so loved:

Birthday Painting: Lady on the Wall

What’s the best gift you’ve ever received (besides salvation of course!)??